Friends and Emotions

I just feel like sometimes that I'm starting to care less and less about the people I call my friends(；′⌒`). I only have 2 friends and it has stayed that way since sixth grade. The three of us are going to high school this year and we're all going to different schools, so it's going to be harder for us to keep in touch. At first, I was so overjoyed to actually have some real friends instead of random people I surround myself with because I'm lonely. But as time went on, I've started noticing that I sometimes just hate being around them and I've been getting annoyed and stressed just at the thought of them(¬_¬"). I have been known to irrationally hate people from the bottom of my heart for no reason. One minor thing done wrong that affects me suddenly makes me hate you. I hate all of my family members, even ones I don't talk to anymore. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, but I want it to stop. They are the only two friends I have and I don't want to lose them. Frankly speaking, they're half of the reason as to why I'm still alive. It could just be that I'm just drifting away from them, but I don't want that to happen. I just wanted to get this off my chest since I don't know who to tell about all of this（＞人＜；）. I'm sorry if my writing format is messy and such, this is my first time ever writing a blog entry. Thank you for reading my blog! Hugs and kisses!( •̀ ω •́ )y