friendships and being alone

a lot of the time, i feel like i want friend and stuff, but then actually talking to people gets pretty difficult and tiring.. and i feel like i don't wanna go outside at all, but it's not like a person can just magically pop onto your doorstep! i wish though T-T 

i've tried being in group activities and stuff, but it never really goes well for me. i usually just end up sitting in a corner by myself ;-; i feel a tiny bit bad cause i want relationships and stuff but actually doing things to get them is totally not fun or appealing. the only place i ever go these days is church, but other than that, i almost never leave my house. church is nice, but people don't really talk much there either, not unless they already know each other.

 i hope i'm not being contradictory or anything! but i also think that i don't really want to be around lots of people, you know? i feel totally happy with the idea of just having one person. being in groups stress me out. i guess quality over quantity? 

but anyway! thanks for being here and reading, if you did. have a super lovely day/night!! <3