from the bottom of my soul, i hate myself

my throat burns and hurts, i'm sick again

i'm sick of this and that, of me and myself.

nothing comes out of my lips and at the same time everything does

what is it that i'm afraid of?

i look in the mirror and hate what i see (and don't see at all)

from the bottom of my heart, i knew this was going to happen to my middle finger, i fucking love you.

more amor, i miss your bones against mines

i'm a ghost between all these shadows and i can't believe my own words. i'm tangled and strangled. and my throat burns with all the words left unsaid that i will never say

where is my mind? where is my mind?

when the feelings get too much. where is my mind?

tangled and strangled. untangled and yet still chained.

i loose and lose myself when we're together again and i can look at your eyes with puppy eyes knowing you'll kiss me again, but then i look away and everything fades away. we're doomed in every possible way, darling.

don't talk to me 'cause i won't talk and it will all be in vain. i'm telling you. don't talk to me 'cause i won't tell you anything. 

from the bottom of my heart, i fucking hate myself.

how does a heart love

if no one has noticed its presence

and where does it go?