Fuck DC and Fuck Marvel

Another year, another cape,
Another world they've gotta save,
Another villain, another fight,
Another fucking flashing light.

Marvel here, DC there,
Same old shit, it's everywhere,
A billion dollars, a hundred names,
Different costumes, identical games.

Oh look, the world's about to end,
But don't worry, here's a joke from your friend,
Someone dies, the music swells,
Then they're back. Well, bloody hell.

And here comes Ryan Reynolds again,
Playing Ryan Reynolds for the millionth time,
Another wink, another joke,
Another fourth wall fucking broke.

I don't hate imagination,
I don't hate a good creation,
Give me something strange and new,
Something that actually has a point of view.

A multiverse? That's not the crime,
There's plenty you could do with time,
Regret, identity, the lives we missed,
But no, here's twelve more heroes to add to the list.

And don't get me started on the dialogue,
Every serious moment treated like a joke,
Someone's grieving, someone's crying,
Quick! Say something funny! God forbid we try writing.

They build a world, they tear it down,
Then sell the pieces back around,
A reboot here, a sequel there,
Another universe pulled out of thin air.

And apparently I'm meant to clap,
Because some bloke from twenty films ago came back,
The audience screams, the credits roll,
And I sit there wondering where the fuck the story went.

I'm sick of heroes filling screens,
I'm sick of cinematic machines,
I'm sick of needing homework done,
Just to understand film number twenty-one.

And I know, I know, there's good ones too,
I'm not pretending none of them ever knew
How to tell a story, how to make me care,
But I'm so bloody tired of seeing them everywhere.

Give me a comedy, give me a crime,
Give me a film that takes its time,
Give me a character who can actually fail,
Without another dimension coming to save his tail.

Give me silence, give me dread,
Give me something that stays dead,
Give me writers who aren't afraid
To let a serious moment stay that way.