fuck the system

if you didn't notice already i have that as my header on my profile? why exactly you may ask? well because the whole system is rigged. starting with school systems most of what we learn in school doesn't even apply to the real world and im not talking about basic stuff like math or science. im talking about stuff like taxes or bills. nobody teaches us that stuff back in school. all teachers expect you to know what you wanna be right when you get out of hs or know what you're gonna do in the next 20 years. like not everybody has shit figured out okay? most like myself don't even know what they want to do or what their doing with their life. 

everything is just uncertain you don't know what path your gonna go or take and not every parent teaches you things that will prepare you to be independent in life which sets up the child for failure. those that do teach their kid is doing the right thing. but anyways i hear people or teachers talking about how you have to go to college after hs and that is NOT true. you do NOT have to go to college after you graduate highschool. it is not the only thing to do. there is trade school and many other things you could do besides college like come on now. my family made it seem to me that was my only option and it wasn't. there is so much out there than just doing college. those who want to do college and know what they want to do in life are on a whole another different path. but not everybody has ambitions it's as simple as that. it doesn't make that person low or a failure in life it's just called being fucking realistic. if they don't have ambitions in life that is fine. 

i also wanted to say and i probably mentioned this before that im in college but on academic suspension got out there bc i failed two or three of my general classes and that had brought my gpa down rlly low. now college wasn't even on my mind until my mom brought it up after i graduated hs i didn't get a choice for myself on whether i wanted to go or not. she made that choice for me and i wasn't too happy about that. in my experience being a freshman in college people really are just closed of there and i can never click with anyone bc their just not interested in me and they have their own little groups. going to classes is the same story i try talking to people there and they act like as if im some fucking alien. like as if we're not supposed to talk or socialize. as for the professors they don't fuck around some art strict others are kinda lenient and the general classes are just fucking hard. i tried i did but damn it's no joke. 

college is way different from highschool. like it's way up there. but ive always asked myself is this really worth it? i don't know what i want to do and yet im here against my will. i felt like it was just a waste of time. it doesn't make sense going there when i don't even know what i want to do as far as a career and plus why the fuck would i want to do more school? was 12 years in school not enough? like jesus. it's too much. my brain was already fried when i was in hs with all the info and homework that they gave us and already literally forgot most shit from hs. none of it really matters at the end of the day. but like honestly college has made me feel stupid. so stupid to the fact that i had many mental breakdowns even just taking the classes. it sucks. 

another thing i wanted to talk about is just working your everyday job right? why is that most people have to work a 9-5 job just to get a paycheck? AND ITS MINIMUM PAY. barely even enough to get around. sometimes it's not enough to pay bills and rent for people. everyday people have to take the time to work and do things and whether you have a career in smth or not it's the same fucking story. we work until we retire and when we're retired we can do anything we want but at the cost of being older and eventually die. some people don't even get to retire because of their situations and circumstances and it's sad. we wake up everyday just to deal with this bs over and over again and you barely even get time to do fun things anymore. that's the sad reality of this. how truly fucked up our system is. i don't wanna live this way. 

im punk and i never realized it until later on in my life that i just don't agree with society's expectations or rules it has on us as human beings. society expects us to fit in these little boxes to follow the rules and live like everyone else in this orderly fashion and i said fuck that. fuck society the rules and the government. the government doesn't even give a shit about people and i bet they are hiding shit behind our backs. they know something i know they do. i don't wanna fit into those boxes they made for us i wanna be me and carve out my own path. live a way different life from other people. i want to live a life that i will actually enjoy. i don't wanna ever regret it.