G.A.D

I was recently diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder , and lately before this diagnosis I’ve had so many problem communicating since it’s always beneficial where I fail to even be confident or speak up whenever I’m left out and anger issues when I don’t felt it’s a fair connection . I ahve been getting therapy as of late but ever since I got of of all social media? I’m still back to that lonely place I’ve been for 22 years , I do have ppl to text but it comes at a point where they either leave n e one delivered or read or I ahve tie it’s a long time for them to reply , it’s just feels like I miss the train in actual friendships that ahve wight but imma be honest ? I was a total asshole Sabir then and I CNAT let that go since it’s now my image and nothing will change as that is the word whenever I come be , I really don’t understand social situations but it’s like hell that I have to go through so many hurdles and mental breakdowns that I just feel like I don’t exist. Hell being a brown man who’s not that attractive having mental illness, I’m like bottom at the league of being above the social status that not even my own people would want me , it’s this insanity where whenever I get in invited I’m happy yet I’m lonely and when I’m home it’s the same shit , I just don’t get it (btw fuck anyone who want force down my throat of this alone nonsense , try being an only child for 22 years where you feel like you’re just searching way too long , and I have attempted s*ic*d* several times