getting back into EVIL

I’m starting to just .. not care? About being nicer? This is quite bad trait I’ve had for a while now. Being nice isn’t my main frequency, I’m usually either neutral or I’m simmering in resentment. Being nice to others is something I actively have to work to do, as my brain’s first reaction to most behaviour I’m faced with is to curse and yell and belittle. I’ve been trying to stop doing that, but apparently everyone around me is a little bitch who doesn’t know how to act. I was quite aggressive with a teacher yesterday which is uncommon because I usually see teachers as equals, with other students being lower myself. But I’ve been getting talked to like I’m some other student lately and it’s testing me. Everyone is testing me. Everyone thinks that they’re more important to me than they really are, and no one knows the struggle it takes to keep my teeth under my lips. I feel like I’m one second away from becoming the person I used to be; the person I.. still am, in a way. The only thing I’ve done is bottle up my overreactive anger, but I haven’t sorted out any root problems. I don’t know how to get the anger out, I feel like I’m 10 again, trying not to snap at everyone I know. 

Sorry, I know this sites is meant to be fun but I’ve found other sites that are better. I only really use this site for venting rn