green

i feel like im constantly stuck in a never ending loop of loneliness and regret. things do start to get better but it always comes crumbling back down in the end. always stressing about grades, a career, a job, driving, there are all these things that i have to figure out how to mange, im still trying to heal and be the best version of myself. it feels near impossible to get ahead of everything and it makes me wonder what is really the point of all of this? im not ever going to be good enough at something to where i can actually make a positive impact in this world. i wish i wasnt born on earth, if there is life on other planets in this universe i hope they take me off of this terrible place i am forever tied to. i like to believe that our planet will be healthy again but i know its just false hope. all the data centers and buildings are corrupting natural habitats, heating up the whole world making it miserable for animals. i can not express how devastating it is to see our only home being torn apart. is it really worth it? i hope mother nature will make an appearance and bring our earth back to life. i miss the vibrancy, the bright green being strung out everywhere you looked, the warm conforting feeling of the sun hitting your face, now the heat is  just overwhelming and depressing. reminiscing will be the death of me, it clouds my mind, thinking about the life i couldve had, the future i couldve had. i can only dream.