Hating my mum

This is gonna be a long yap, sry

I hate my mum so much. I can't express how much. 

Even today she yelled at me cuz I told her that ion like bolognese (smt that she KNOWS!!) telling me to move out cuz "I have a big mouth"  bro, all I said that ion like that food! Calm ur tits. 

She always forgets that ion like some food yet she still makes it then acts surprised when I tell her that i wont eat cuz ion like it. This isn't the 1st time that I have to buy my own food or starve. 

(ik this is more of a my issue, cuz ion like it but still, I tell her everytime that ion like this food, ion like that food, yet she still makes it. Like she doesn't give a shit bout me) 

She won't even respect it that I'm a boy. And says disgusting things to me like "So u don't like dick cuz u never tried it"  STFU. And she prioritises my younger brother so much more. She fucking bought him condoms when he was 14. FUCKING CONDOMS!! When all I ever asked from her was to see me as her son and let me live since im 18 and she can't give me that. She paid for my brother's soccer thingy so he can go to Italy, she told my brother that he can go boxing if he wants to, a sport I wanted to do for yrs and even told her I wanna do boxing. 

I had an argument w her cuz of a job. The boss won't hire me apperantly cuz of my septum piercing, since its a bit stretched, but NOBODY complained about my work, even the workers said I've done an amazing job and can't wait for me to get hired. But if it's my septum then put me in the back? Where no one will see me,perhaps? And I told this to my mum that the boss shouldn't be so conservative and think outside of the box since these days A LOT of ppl have piercings and tattoos. (EVEN PPL WHO FUCKING WORK THERE) And yet again, her only come back is that "I have a big mouth" 

(mb im not that little kid anymore who you kept in fear and beat up whenever he had his own thoughts and opinions on stuff) 

Anyways, we had this argument while we were on the way to the bus stop and when we got on the bus she didn't sit next to me! And didn't even say bye to me when she got off. What is this immature, childish teenage girl behaviour </3

It would be better to live w my dad but he doesn't know anything about my lyf, he doesn't know that im trans or that I like girls NOTHING! And he lived down the house a lot.. The toilet is disgusting, the whole house is a mess, u can't even shower there so ion wanna live there cuz of this... And the fact that he's homophobic. 

I still have to survive 2 yrs here b4 I can move out to a flat w my friend and b4 I finish school. But I swear I will kms  cuz I js can't take this.