Holy Matrimony.

It disgusts me. I'm sorry if you're reading this and are religious. 

This isn't about my hatred for religion as a whole though, it's my feelings toward Holy Matrimony. We learn about various aspects of living a Catholic life at my school, but this year, they've introduced more mature topics. These topics are slowly going into adult related stuff such as marriage, sex, and reproduction! For one, I'd just like to state that I've always hated the idea of marriage, even as a little girl I hated it. I never once wanted to get married, and could never picture myself getting married. Now that we're being taught the Catholic views of marriage, I want it even less. Oh and I especially don't want to reproduce! 

One thing I have noticed in Catholicism or Christianity is that in itself, individuality should be very limited. Especially as they go on and call us brothers and sisters, it can make many believe we are one with Jesus Christ and have such a connection with God as "We are the sons and daughters of the Great Lord". It pushes conformity. Calling each other 'brothers and sisters' in my opinion, is very centralising in a way. In gives a sense of community, of connection that isn't real. Once we marry (in the Catholic eye), we become one. One flesh, as stated in Ephesians 5:31-32, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh". That one flesh should soon now carry on and be open to new life, they should be "fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28a). What they've taught us in my school is that, we date to marry, we marry to the Catholic church, and we reproduce. If we don't do that, our love, our connection is invalid. Our marriage isn't real if we're not to go through the path of the Lord, if we don't follow his intentions of mankind. We've been told that the purpose of marriage is for the "procreation and education of our children" and just the fact that the whole meaning of Matrimony is 'motherhood'. We get married for God, we get married to reproduce. We get married just to be miserable. 

I hate how misogynistic religion is in its entirety. Of course they'd just have to let that flood something as beautiful as marriage. It's sead, when God made us, he thought to make man a partner for him to not be alone. Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." And so now we're demeaning women, we're making them less and less of a person, and more of a baby making helper to fill the loneliness of man. Even the whole ceremony of marriage brings in all the awful, religious, misogynistic symbolism. For example, white is for purity. Children are pure. Little girls would get married off at as young as 12 years old in the Catholic church, all dressed in white as her father walked her down the aisle to pass her onto another family to seal whatever sick deals they've made. I couldn't imagine even being my youthful age and having my family trade me off, dress me up like a stupid little doll to marry a guy that's probably older than me! Even now, I'd be considered 'too old' or 'over the age' that girls would get married off. 

Oh and guys, remember, we don't marry for our personal happiness, we marry for God. We are nothing if we don't follow the intricate rules carved into society- I mean our oh so Holy Bible. We can't make it through tough and difficult times if we're happy apparently! We must die to ourselves for authentic human. We long for love because God is love, and nothing less will satisfy us. We must sacrifice our all for God. The sacrifices we make, make our lives ever so meaningless. We dedicate our lives, our faith to a man in the sky, all for there to be a 50/50 chance that this faith is something real. And if we die, and if God is not real, our lives are wasted, and it's too late to do anything about it. What makes Catholics or Christians believe that God answered their prayers when they needed to win a football game, but not answer someone like me, on my knees begging for my misery to end? Or what makes them believe that such a God would be as cruel to leave many boys and girls starving all over the world? Is that what we put our faith into? Cause I know it's not what I put my faith in.