Hoo wee!

It's been a hot minute isn't it? I haven't been online for a while. Working on other things and that includes my mental health. I'm not gonna lie to you, I have always felt disconnected.

What do I mean by that? 

I'm sad, but I don't know why. But I also don't feel anything even though I should.

I've been like this through most of my life. I mean, if I see my love one cry, I'll cry sure.

But anything else, I have nothing left to say or don't know how to react so I stay silent and feel nothing. 

It's probably mainly the reason why I have trouble with friend groups or talking to people and I stay out of things. 

Like okay I'll match your energy, but now what? I felt like I have nothing else to give and it's kinda bleak.

I honestly thought it was either that, or disassociation but even as a kid I've been feeling it. I feel like I'm a skin walker if I may be honest.

I've been disassociating, or emotionally drained while masking. Either way, it's been going on for so long it feels normal.