hospital visit for heartbreak

okay so.. 

to start the story, i'll begin when i first began to feel sick to my stomach over him. 

that's when i found out he's been consistently hanging out with the girl he told me not to worry about, the same girl who spread many many rumors about me beginning in the 7th grade and is still unable to let it go. 

he's fully aware of the things she's done, too. 

he did admit to me he didn't trust me, so.. 

anyways, that started to get me sick to my stomach. 

i cried so hard i threw up multiple times, and i couldn't function properly. 

it went on for about three days and today it was so bad i had to go to the emergency room. 

i was there literally all day, hooked up to an IV, getting tested for many things. 

turns out i genuinely just had a broken heart. 

broken heart syndrome to be exact. 

so i stayed for a whileeeee. 

it was awful, and i just got home. 

my arm is so sore from the IV it's unbelievable. 

so, needless to say, i loved that boy. 

he has no clue this has been happening which hurts. 

and.. not to sound mean but i really want him to hurt the way i am. 

i swear i don't mean it in a bad way.. 

i just know he doesn't care right now, im not sure he ever did. 

i have been telling myself this, though it hurts, 

if he could all of a sudden not love me anymore on a random day, he never truly loved me to begin with. 

plus, even if he did, he was too much of a coward to fight for it. 

we are young so i really wasn't expecting much, but i was expecting more than that. 

anyways, heartbreak hurts. 

that's really all.