How a true crime case ruined me mentally

I used to watch a lot of true crimes videos especially during quarantine. I began to stop watching that content over time. Until I found this one video that really caught my attention last year of May, The Reddit Mom who Lost Her Life to Her Own Sons by Dire Trip, (Dire Trip is pretty great channel if you're interested in more unknown cases). Wow. This case fucked me up.

In a short retelling of this case without needing to get into the graphic details, two teenage brothers murder their parents and three younger siblings in an attempt to become famous, (obviously their plan never worked out because they're nobodies)...

I heard of cases where the kid or the husband annihilates their parents or family (Menedenez brothers, Chris Watts, etc). But holy shit, the fact it was two brothers who did not only murder their parents but also lured out and murdered their younger siblings???

The autopsy report for each family member is so horrific, I couldn't stand to hear where each wound was especially the younger children who had 20+ wounds. The first sibling that they attacked and eventually survived along with an unharmed 2-year-old is a badass, she kept fighting off her brothers. Although she did sustain horrific injuries, she still managed to outsmart them when they tried killing her once more after their failed attempt.

There was a night where I couldn't sleep at all because how fucking awful the details in this case were. I honestly couldn't even focus during school; it was always on my mind because I couldn't wrap my head around it. I didn't even know such awful tragedies like this happen and that such a term existed for these types of crimes, 'familicide'. I couldn't imagine having to run away from my own two sons who are chasing and stabbing me.

This case is also interesting considering the parents protected all 7 of their children from the outside world. All of the children were homeschooled. There isn't really much information on what their lives were like prior to the murders considering how private they were.

The brothers' plan was not only murdering their family but also going on a murder spree across country. They wanted to rival against the Columbine shooting and the Aurora theater shooting.

The eldest brother accused his parents of being abusive towards him and his siblings, although the surviving sibling says otherwise. He seems to say statements that only fit in his narrative or just contradicts himself. It seems like his other siblings seem to turn out fine, it makes you wonder why he became the way he was? He mentioned he always wanted to murder his parents at the age of 13 (him and his brother were 18 and 16 at the time of the crime) and also had unfettered access to the internet. He did talk about how their plan didn't work out because they thought just stabbing someone once that they would just fall down and die quietly similarly in movies/shows, (fiction vs reality).

It's one of those "what if" questions like if they had lived a more open life, going to school, socializing with people their age; would have they still carried out these attacks?

It's been a year now since I first heard this case, I still think about it time to time. I guess this can be reason if you're still whatever reason obsessed with watching true crimes video to watch less or just stop all together.