hey yall, im 19 and all my life i have been told i was a good artist. people always would stop and stare and tell me to keep going and that what i did was impressive. but heres the thing. i lost my passion for art. for years i spent my time in high school in art, being the art club president and creating many pieces of art that i put my blood sweat and tears into. its been a year since i graduated, and honestly i have lost so much of my creative spark. i see people and artists on instagram, dancers, artists, rappers, etc. and i get chills. its beautiful how they can express themselves in such a beautiful way. i almost envy it, but i stop myself. i have visions and ideas of things i can do or create in my head, usually when im walking my dog or before i go to sleep. yet they always stay there, in my head. i just wish i could do the things i want and love, but some part of me is holding myself back. i dont know what. i have adhd, specifically add, and it can be my biggest enemy. i dont want to create because "im tired" yet i can stay up til 2 in the morning and scroll on reels. i dont want to start something new because what if i am terrible at it? i dont want to invest into something because what if i waste the very little money i have? it has been eating me alive for months now. my mom is not much of a help, for many years she usually always told me to do what i wanted and supported me. and she stilll does to an extent. but when i mention starting something new or i show her something i created, she doesnt give me the answer i am used to. now she tells me to put things through ai, that my work looks like ai, and that everything is too expensive to start anything. i havent brought it up, but it hurts me so bad when she makes comments like that. shes my best friend, i have a very good relationship with her but this is the first time i am finding it hard to deal with her shit. i want to create so bad, i keep trying everything and the second i fail i crash out and never try it again. i do not know why i am like this. i think maybe the stresses of the world and being an adult are coming to me. i want to expand, do something with my life, and be free. yet all the things i was promised as a kid have not come true. i havent gone to college, i work all the time, and i still am stuck at home since i cant drive properly yet. i am trying to be optimistic, but i cant do it forever. I want to find my spark. I dont want to starve my creativity because "it wont make money" or "its a waste of time". i miss being creative. i miss being expressive. i miss it all.
if any of you have advice, i would greatly appreciate it. I want to improve and move on and stop letting my mind suppress me and limit who i am.
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~~Al_Is_Stressed~~
I'm younger than you so I truly don't understand what you're going through, but you just have to let go. Stop caring about what other people thing, it doesn't matter. What you do will appeal to someone somewhere, as long as you love it as well. And art doesn't have to be expensive, find old books and make a blackout poem or go outside and take pictures that you find pretty, don't fit yourself into a box, you don't always have to be the person who just draws or just does this or that, find what you want to do and don't care about judgment. You can only see through your perspective, so make that perspective great for yourself. If you're concerned about money, you can always turn art into it, you can get commissions from others on the internet, you don't have to starve yourself of things you love just because people have said something or you don't think it'll make you money. If you love what you do, you won't work a day in your life. Just be yourself and don't listen to others unless it's actual constructive criticism, oh, and branch out, try to save up some extra money or find a way to do something for free, if it calls to you, don't be afraid to try it. Love yourself, and stay whimsical!! :D (Sorry if this doesn't help as much, I've never been an adult, but if it makes you feel better, I'd love to see your art)