how do you get the courage to message new oomfs

30 minutes ago (edited) Report 👍 1

deadass bc like what if when i message them they like tell me to die or smth like im so SCAREDD

50 minutes ago (edited) Report 👍 2

I fear that to talk to people online, you have to just send them a message and see what happens. In retrospect, that makes sense, as the creation of a village community depends on the individual efforts of the villagers as a collective, but yeah, it can be a little nerve-wracking sometimes. If you add someone, I'd suggest maybe waiting until the other person has accepted your friend request before messaging them - if they reject, they probably don't see much in common between themselves and you, or maybe think you just won't get along, so I wouldn't really push it if that happens. If they accept, then I would try to send them a more personalised message than just "hiii hru :3" or something along those lines. Go through their profile, check if they have any intro blogs (I've seen multiple people on here use blogs as About Me's instead of the Bio section... maybe for aesthetic maintenance reasons?), read their Interests tab, find something there that you're interested in or you're passionate about, and ask them about it! Heck, it could be something they're clearly passionate about but you're not so interested in, but asking them about that will allow them to gush about their little interest, and will enable you to learn more about it in the process. I'll give a couple of examples of my own:

---

"Yo, I don't believe I've actually said hi to you yet, despite accepting your friend request and looking over your profile, but hi! I don't know when you'll be on next, but don't fret about answering instantly :) Admittedly I'm not exactly great at conversations or conversation starters, but it's probably best to pick something listed in your Interests profile section... you know what, I've recently been getting into Tally Hall a bit more after having known about them for a while and am currently exploring the various related projects and songs (thinking of listening to Not A Trampoline and Sketches soon), Tally Hall could probably function well enough as a conversation starter. Do you have a particular favourite song, maybe you prefer one album over the other, did you enjoy Hawaii Part II... do you prefer the original demo of Inside the Mind of Simon, the 4th demo of The Mind Electric, or the final The Mind Electric that made it into the album? And how's stuff, how's life?"

---

"Hello there, we're friended on here so I thought I may as well try to actually be proactive and make more of an effort to chat with people on here! Hope you're doing okay and life is good! Considering your profile is filled with rabbits and rabbit references galore, I was wondering if you yourself had any pet rabbits? Or if not, perhaps you know someone who does?"

---

I am yet to hear back from these people, but the whole purpose of getting onto these kinds of sites is to make things slow down from the hectic rush of mainstream social media, so if people don't respond to you for a week or two, DO NOT FRET. If it there's no response after a month, though... you may want to check the last time they were online, and if they were on recently and still haven't responded, that's fine, I wouldn't bother chasing them up about it. It is a little rude for them to ghost you, but you take these things with grace and try to move on. As an additional point, I would only accept friend requests from someone I could reasonably get along with and have some level of conversation with in this online space, and that would be determined by the aforementioned checking of profiles and judging based on what you can find there. The more you filter your friends list, the more it whittles down to people who share your interests, and the more you'll be able to get a good conversation going should they respond to your DM.

1 hour ago (edited) Report 👍 1

rightt?? i wanna make friends but sending them a message and not just a profile comment complimenting their page feels scary like im suddenly at risk of getting shot 4 no particular reason

1 hour ago (edited) Report 👍 1

just do it! what's the worst that could happen?

1 hour ago (edited) Report 👍 1

i honestly just say "hiii" or say "hiii im (my name)" and anxiously wait

1 hour ago (edited) Report 👍

I feel this its so hard to talk to ppl online...