How its been

Yet another tragedy has befallen my sad crumbling life. The landlord of the house I've been living in for about 2 years now (or around that long) has asked that we (we being my mother, brother, and I) move out of the residence by next year. I have two months to move out. It feels like the only grounding force I have has been pulled out from underneath my feet. I feel alone. And don't get me wrong, I know worse things are happening in the world. War, Suffering, etc, and I'm not minimalizing the harm that those things cause, its just that I've been trying so, so, so, hard to carry all the burdens of my life on my own but I cant, I just can't. I don't have any friends I can talk to about these things either, which is probably why I get so sad about things. I don't have anyone to vent to, which Is why I write here. No one even knows me for me, no one knows the real me. The me that is written and typed, drawn and painted, sculpted and sung. And I apologise if im making this into a chaotic and dramatic poem type vent, but I genuinely cant talk about this to anyone. Then again, I doubt anyone will actually read this, not to sound like a pick me begging for validation, its just that I know people have better things to do than to read a blog some random sad girl from across the globe has written about her crappy life. Sad thing is, I don't even have anyone on here to talk to about this. I don't know how to make friends really, irl and online. I feel like everyone who is my friend became friends with me, not me with them. And don't get me wrong, I love my friends so much, its just that around them I'm a smiling, happy person, there for the problems they are having, but as usual no one is there for me. And I guess im to blame for that, since I don't let anyone see that side of me. In these sad situations, all I can do is hope and pray and cross my fingers that fate doesn't punish me for no reason. I just hope that one day, one day, ill have someone to talk to about these things. I don't want to be this lonely girl watching the story of my life burst into bright blue flames. Either way I hope the person, or people, who read this have good a good day/night/whole life.

Thank you. I hope you all are well.

-Zulai