1: Weapons are hard to bring to a lot of places (school, work, etc) so I suggest utilizing multi-purpose items. By this, I mean spray paint instead of pepper spray and a bat/umbrella instead of anything more obvious. Spray paint is useful because it'll still hurt like a bitch, but it will also make it easier to identify the attacker because they'll look like a raccoon (no offense to raccoons).
(Edit. Only use spray paint if pepper spray is not immediately available to you (limitations due to parents, workplaces, school, etc).)
In addition to the spray paint thing, I suggest making it the same color as your car/vehicle/any painted item you have, so that you can claim it was to touch up your stuff instead of self defense.
When it comes to the bat, I suggest also bringing a ball and a glove with it, so that you can say you were going to play with it instead of bash somebody's head in. Plausible deniability is important.
Also, LEARN HOW TO USE these items. They are not going to be useful if you cannot work a paint canister or swing a bat. Just a simple tutorial on YouTube will suffice.
2: Just lie to strangers. They want your name? Give them a lie. They want to know your job? Where you're going? Your number? Lie. If they try to confirm it immediately, like calling a fake number in front of you, I suggest escaping the situation as soon as possible with any lie you can come up with. Your husband texted you, your brother just got out of the military and he'll be at your house in an hour, your dog needs to go to the vet, you have to walk your fish, anything. The more that the lie puts another man (like a faux sibling, uncle, dad, anything) between you, the better.
3: If you try to leave a situation and that does not work, I suggest acting like you're crazy. Attackers like these aim for convenience and vulnerability, so BE INCONVENIENT. Shout like a crazy bitch, curse them out with swears as half of your vocabulary to attract attention, etc. Specifics is the most important during this, because screaming "leave me alone" will have others think it's a lover's spat. Saying "I don't know you!" or shouting that there's a fire will draw a lot more eyes, because "help" will not work. You can NOT trust that people will help you out of the good of their heart, you must demand their assistance in whatever way you can.
4: DO NOT GO TO A SECOND LOCATION. NEVER GO TO A SECOND LOCATION. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING, DO NOT GO TO A SECOND LOCATION. I cannot emphasize this enough. I do not care if there's a gun to your temple and somebody is telling you to drive somewhere, do NOT GO TO A SECOND LOCATION. Crash the car, scream, or get shot. I promise you, you are better off with a gunshot.
(TW in the next paragraph. If you don't want specifics, heed my warning and go to 5). Going to a second location means you are entirely in their hold. They can bring you ANYWHERE, to ANYBODY or ANYBODIES, and nobody will know where you are. You will not be looked for until you are used and only allowed the mercy of death to tie up a loose end. You are better off crashing the car, taking the gunshot, and fighting for your life and your sanity.
5: Don't let strangers or acquaintances know where you live. If somebody wants to do something together, you give them the location of a business nearby that you can arrive beforehand so they never see what direction you walk from.
6: Bring your own car, vehicle, or mode of transportation. This is a more general rule; It allows you to leave if one vehicle is compromised, it allows you to not be tied to whoever your ride is, and it means you can go at any time.
7: (TW, mention of SA). If you are dating/friends with/know a man (my condolences), I want you to be cautious. So many rapes, murders, and abuse comes from those who are already close to you (workers, friends, acquaintances, and especially partners). It's part of the reason why the stereotype (where I live, at least) is "Somebody died? Have you looked into their partner?" because that's what happens a lot of the time. You can still hang out, you can still know men, but always be cautious.
I will keep looking for more advice for future posts, stay safe all
How to survive as a woman or feminine person p2
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Pigstrong
(edited)
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I'll just say that you most certainly should not try to replace pepper spray with a spray can. just carry pepper spray. there's no law that prevents anyone from carrying it. you have the right to defend yourself. I carry it whenever I leave the house. though admittedly I am more concerned about getting attacked by a mountain lion or a dog than a human being. one time it leaked into my pants while I was working which was not fun. I also carry a pretty heavy iron bangle that works very well a blunt weapon. been carrying both pepper spray and the bangle for 10 years. never used either one or even felt like I needed to use them. I don't like guns, otherwise I would carry one.
I don't mean to misinform at all when it comes to something like this.
I've been to multiple places in which I would have gotten in trouble for having pepper spray, so I did want to provide an alternative. Legally, while the right is there, many women (edit: Feminine people are also villainized, especially if they are feminine and not a woman) are antagonized for self-defense, and it's easier to justify spray paint instead of pepper spray, and spray paint is more damaging.
And I do see your point about getting attacked by an animal, but this post isn't about self-defense against animals, it's about self defense against assaulters (usually men). I do not advertise for or approve of hurting animals with spray paint, nor am I qualified to say how to defend onself from such animals.
by Gaiety_and_Insanity; (edited); Report
my point is that spray paint is not an effective self defense weapon. you're also much more likely to get "in trouble", legally speaking, for spraying someone in the face with paint because it can cause permanent eye damage.
some parents are giving their daughters pepper spray as soon as they enter high school. just don't let anyone know you have it. it's not illegal. consequences would be very minor as long as you're responsible. carry it.
by Pigstrong; ; Report