I actually kind of hate my birthday

I'm turning 24 tomorrow, and I've come to realize I kind of hate it when my birthday comes around. And not just because my meeting with my job coach was moved to tomorrow and I get to get yelled at by a crochety nag about fucking up my chances with what would've been a perfect starting job on my birthday. There's two main reasons.

I've come to hate the choices that come with it. I have to figure out what I want for my present. I have to decide where I want to go to eat out by this evening so my mom can make reservations. I get pressured about these things the moment the month begins. 

"First world problems", I understand, but I'm just not capable of making decisions anymore. I'm locked up in wondering if I'm sure I want this or if a better choice will rear its head right after I claim I'm sure. Especially not when I have a twin brother and we have to pick a restaurant we both like, I'm not crazy about Italian food but that's apparently what the whole family really wants. Maybe I'm tired of getting nagged about this stuff every year. Maybe I'd just like to get me an ice cream cake instead. Hell, this year I actually chose to get myself new JBL Air Pops as a present to myself, and I got reprimanded, like "if you wanted new earbuds, why didn't you ask?" I didn't ask because I wasn't sure if there was something else I wanted more as a gift. Which I ultimately did. We got a new budgie for Pete. If I'd decided I wanted earbuds for my present, Pete would remain friendless. This is why I don't like binary this-or-that decisions.

The bigger, grimmer reason I've come to dislike my birthday is it's a reminder of how fast life comes at you after 16. I mean, holy SHIT, how is it ALREADY the 23rd of September. How is this year already 3/4ths of the way over. How are we already almost at 2030. How am I already in my mid 20's. Before I know it, I'll be 30. Then 40. My joints will wear out, my hair will thin, I won't be energetic anymore, I'll be a corny old woman with possible dementia longing for the old days. I'm only beginning to come to grips with mortality, I don't need to be thinking about how fast the years are going by now. Let alone how I'm 24 and still a jobless bum living with her parents while people younger than me are over here making entire video essays and collaborations.

Also, having to update my age everywhere is a tedious process.