I. birthday reflections

possible tw...? vague talks of depression and such things, its there for context

hi, hello, first blog post. ive wanted to write one ever since i joined this site for my friend and saw it making these, the problem is i dont really like sharing too much about myself and i also just dont always have much to talk about. however, i will force myself to write today as its a special occasion...

today, on july 25th, i turn 23. twenty three years old. i actually managed to live that long? you bet! im rapidly approaching my mid 20s and mentally i still feel like im 7 years old glued to the tv screen watching dragon ball z and then trying to draw the characters i saw.

you know, i never really expected to make it this far. like i said, i hate oversharing, but my life wasnt easy, it was in fact absolutely catastrophic! at around age 12 i decided to give up on any dreams and passions because i didnt think id live to 15, and now i just turned 23. and for the first time in years, i can say that i am happy i did. 2024 was so atrocious to me i started getting those thoughts again. the spring and summer of 2025 were calm and nice, until i hit rock bottom again after a horrible event nearing winter and landed in the hospital.

and that hospital visit actually ended up turning my life around completely. i got put on new medications, i met and made a lot of new likeminded friends there that i still talk to and visit sometimes, and after being discharged i spent a month with my dad and grandma, celebrating christmas & new years together with our dog. the month long hospital visit changed my perspective on life, i was immensely motivated and happy, and those were the best holidays ive experienced in years, after the tragedy that was christmas 2024.

unfortunately the event repeated itself and i had to sacrifice something important to cope, but ive mostly grown desensitized to its aftermath. now, im living my best life! i havent felt this content with my circumstances in like... my entire life. ive been going around my country, lithuania, and making new friends left and right. ive been attending art shows and fan convention events, also meeting some amazing new people there. while the trip was absolutely horrible and id like to redo it one day, i flew overseas for the first time to egypt (because i like yugioh). then, at the start of this month, i flew to finland to visit two of my online friends, who also share a trait that is integral to me and my life: theyre also ficto (i dont like using the terms selfship or yume). we hung around all over helsinki, took public transport (we dont have metro or trams here...), ate at cafes and restaurants, went shopping (there was a lolita store i bought gorgeous press on nails at, the shopkeeper was very sweet and she was romanian, so we bonded over living in niche countries that dont have this stuff), and took cute pictures together and with our husbandos.

things still seem to be going good for me! right now, while i dont want to get into it im currently in the process of changing my housing situation for the better. for the remainder of this summer i will work hard to study and improve at art, hopefully one day i can be on range muratas and jun tsukasas levels... and soon i wish to travel to two more countries. poland in september because theres a furry event that my friend wants to go to after acquiring a fursuit, so i need to stop being lazy and finish my own fursuit i paused thats at like 80% completion level. </3 the other country is france, because i really want to heal my inner child and go to that new naruto theme park that opened. whether ill hit up france in august or september is none of my business, i will decide overtime as im a quite busy person lately... i just dont want to go there when its already cold and muddy and wet.

that is all! tldr: after a horrible lifetime my life somehow became better and now im genuinely happy to be here. as for my birthday gift... my dad insists on it being anything so ill probably just ask for money to get a high quality telescope lol