i cant feel empathy anymore

this isnt one of those edgy posts, id say this is just personal experience. i dont know when this apathy started but the only thing i feel besides it is anxiety or sadness. my grandfather just died and my family is devastated. i get it, he was important to all of us or almost all of us but he was suffering and i actually made a bet with myself every year thinking “yeah he is dying this year” since 2023. he had alzheimers for plenty years and didnt even know how to walk anymore. we were close before he got sick, but ive never really felt any sadness or caring for his situation. its good for me, yes, these things dont affect me so i can still live my life without grief, but morally i think its cruel to just dont give any fucks for most people. i really just feel bad when something affects me personally and what people think of me. i swear this isnt meant to sound narcissistic or anything but yeah he needed to go. my intuition just tells me its wrong to do not care about such dark and sad moments. im the least nonchalant person you will ever meet, but on the inside i really am kinda egoistic. 

he was also really close to my dad and i do not have a good relationship with my father, so i dont feel bad for my father also, but my mom says i have to be cool with him. 

im omw to the hospital rn sorry for the rushed english or whatever