Hello, this is my first blog post and the first thing I’m going to do is whining (like I almost always do). For a while now, I’ve been feeling down, hopeless, and wanting to just end it all once and for all. It all stems from a super horrible experience that made me feel things I never thought I would feel; in fact, I NEVER thought something like that would happen to me. Since that moment, I’ve felt terrible. The deep respect I had for someone and my desire to be like them just went down the drain, and now I feel nothing but disappointment toward that person. I know it sounds harsh, and that currently that person is super remorseful for everything, but I’m not going to feel better just because they said sorry a couple of times.
Since that moment, I feel like every bad thing that happens to me, no matter how small, feels incredibly heavy. I have been struggling with very dark thoughts and have even considered if it’s worth continuing. I went to a psychologist and she wants to refer me to a psychiatrist, but there are concerns in my family about medication, and I’m also a bit scared of that idea. I haven't gone back to that psychologist either, so I know I need to find another professional to talk to, which has been hard because I've been very busy and overwhelmed.
Currently, I feel very lost. Some days are much harder than others, and although I try to stay distracted, it is difficult. Because of how I feel, I’ve distanced myself from people I love, and I don't want them to think I don't care about them. It is just hard to find the energy to reach out when even getting out of bed is a struggle. I just want to feel happy again. Sorry for writing all of this, it’s just a way for me to vent. Please, if you are going to comment, let it be out of respect. Good night.
I also apologize if theres some grammatical errors in the text i used the google translator for this.
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abductedbyaliens
A veces la decepción de alguien a quien respetabas duele más que una traición común, porque rompe la forma en que veías el mundo. Tu publicación se entendió perfectamente, pero quise responderte en tu idioma original. No pidas perdón por desahogarte, tus sentimientos son completamente válidos y tu dolor merece espacio. Un dia a la vez, mucha fuerza.
skyeberry
Sorry about what you're going through, but I promise you killing yourself isn't worth it. I'm not gonna lie and tell you that everything will be okay and you'll be fine, because I can't guarantee that. But what I can guarantee is that whatever you're going through, it's not worth ending your life over. Life is a gift that, in my opinion, you are only granted once. So don't let it go to waste. Also if you are feeling depressed I think you should take the advice of the psychologist and go see a psychiatrist.
𝒦𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓎🎀‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚
I totally get how you feel!! But, I want you to know that things do get better, yk? There’s been many times in my own life where I felt like ending it all was the only option, not I look back and am glad I didn’t. You’re going to have that moment too, I promise. Ending it is very much a permanent solution to a temporary problem! I think it would be a good idea to go back and maybe try to get on some meds that would help! I’m on meds, personally, and it’s not bad at all! And, if it doesn’t end up working, you can always talk to your doctor and either ween off them or stop them entirely!!