I did nothing with my high school years

Just yesterday my friend calls me, explaining that she and her bandmates were crying because they had just performed their last football game of their senior year. everyone on band was crying, apparently, and as happy as i was for them, it made me realize i didnt do anything with my highschool years I genuinely try my best not to think about myself when someones telling me something, it makes me feel super selfish, but it still happens subconsciously. Im not gonna have moments crying with my friends like everyone eventually will. I barely started hanging out with my friends now, and my mom plans on taking that away from me because of petty chores. ive noticed that everyone leaves eventually. it's just some timers are longer than others. does depression come in waves? i havent had the energy to do much of anything. I planned on writing this last night and fell asleep cause i was tired. I didnt want to drive this morning and now my mom wants to kick me out.  I still have to apply for scholarships. im honestly tired of all of it and theres no end it sight.

sorry, i usually organize these better but theres a lot of things going on right now