I feel like im not a "real" friend bcs im just an online friend

My friend lives in the south america and he's honestly my best friend, and i know im his too. Well atleast thats what he tells me, i dont really believe it, which is my problem. Not his fault.

Hellll we legit tell each other i love you, he's never done anything to make me feel like im less of a friend. But whenever i watch his status of him hanging w his "real" friends, i cant help but envy them, and kinda resent him & his friends.

We only "hang" like, when the moon is full and the stars align. He never texts me to play anything, hop on vc just because, its always me & everytime i feel like a parasocial freak.

There's this dude i recently got to know, and we alrd spent like damn 40+ hrs on vc. Which is the fking worst bcs you'd expect me to be like "oh finally some attention & company" but nah, it made me even more mad bcs i dont wanna hang w this guy, i wanna hang w my friend. My best friend.

Honestly? he's a mature dude. If i talk honestly abt how i feel to him he'd deff understand & wouldn't ridicule me for it. 

I just dont wanna sound like a whiny bitch & make him feel guilty. Plus he's got enough on his plate to deal with. Not his responsibility im so fkin butthurt for no reason.

Im "just" an online friend, losing me is inconsequential. Clearly dude's fine without me in his life.

The end of yap ✌ good hunting, stalker.