I feel like my ED is just turning on and off ???

So, like the title, I get random boosts of like 'non'-ED thoughts and then I will eat, and feel good about it but then I will feel gross about it and just repeats? 

Also just now I was scrolling on edtwt and felt DISGUSTING about myself and then I tried to go to sleep but couldn't and I started to get this weird heartburn feeling in my stomach so I thought if I ate I would feel better, but when normally I wouldn't wanna eat and would just push through the pain. 

So I had only a few spoonfuls of chicken noodle soup (also I used to eat it with crackers but turns out one package of crackers was like 1028 calories or something!?!?!?!)  and it only helped a little bit, but now I just feel gross again. I don't know I just feel like I'm faking my ED because I haven't fasted for more than 10 hours when I usually do 20+ hours even though I was literally diagnosed with it a couple of months ago?? 

Any feedback would be very appreciated !!! ^^