i feel socially stunted

All of my dude friends are taller than me. once my doctor told me i was gonna be 5'7 there's been a level of happiness that i haven't returned to.  it's not yall enough to be average but also not short enough to benefit me in anyway   i think im just unnotable. my feet are big so i play extra for shoes,  theyre also flat so i dont get to wear many shoes without pain after a while. my hair is a huge insecurity for me. my lips and nose are huge, i just feel like im conventionally unattractive and im honestly not aure what my girlfriend sees in me. 

i try not to tell her about how i feel about myself, because nobody wants to hear how someone feels like theyre ugly.

nobody around me is insecure about their looks so they dont get it. whenever i come to peoole about how i feel its like im fucking crazy and just need to "meet more people" but i dont want to meet people looking the way i do.

i feel socially handicapped, i dont do anything people can relate to, and im not outstanding looks wise

i also cant relate to peoole socially through race. there are some things people that are my aame race expect me to know and do socially, but i miss the mark everytime. 

i dont think have autism, i just think i missed out on some things i shouldve experienced at a younger age and am now experiencing the consequences of not getting out

but everything is whatever