i fucked up

how can i fuck up so bad omg i was on academic probation and now im on academic suspension for college and ended up losing the 2 years the college pays for your financial aid and stuff because my gpa is so low but see this is what happens when you put your child into college and mind you i didn't even have a choice in this and my family told me to do nursing i did the general classes and fucked up. got two f's that brought down my gpa down so bad and although i ended up doing these summer classes to try and bring up my gpa it still wasn't enough. so now i have to do these steps to register again next year fml and bc i still live with my mom there's no way in hell she'll be able to pay out of pocket just for me to do one class. im honestly tired of college and all these classes it feels like im rlly just wasting time and i feel like i let down my whole family. i tried i really did try. people that have everything figured out and knowing what they want to do i envy them bc i still don't even know what i want to do as far as a career and what i want to do in life. sometimes i wish i could just not worry about college and all this other stuff but due to all the pressure from my family and college it's made me really stressed out i won't lie im rlly only doing this for my family and i just really don't have the drive for it.