I had my first time

Not sure if my age is already visible from this post, but I digress. I went to my guy friend's (of 2 years) house to hang out and study. The other times I went to his house, his mom would watch over us as we stayed in the living area only. That day was different, his mom was on a business trip. For the first time, we were both able to go in his room. The AC was blasting and he had Unstable universe playing on his laptop. We sat next ro each other, conversing about school and miscellaneous gossip. Eventually, he and I were sharing a blanket because of how cold we were. He not so subtly puts his arm over me. I froze at first, but I figured he was close enough with me for us to be sitting so comfortably like that. Then my eyes start to droop, the narration of the minecraft series was lulling me to sleep. He asked me of I was comfortable — and honestly, yeah. I had a pillow, soft blanket, and my head was getting gently caressed. But that wasn't what he meant. I was wearing jeans, so he questioned the extent of my comfort. I was fine, genuinely. Then he suggested changing into more comfortable clothes, like his pajamas. He went over to his cupboard and he hands me pajama pants. I was confused, but honestly just teased him about it. He left the room for me to change, and so I did. Then we went back to our comfortable positions. Then he offhandedly mentions an inside joke we had which, wouldn't you know it, pertains to sex. I laugh it off with him, dancing around his intent, and continued watching the minecraft video. After a while, he suggests becoming friends with benefits. We liked other people, but we were still teenagers. And so there it is, my first time. I feel absolutely horrible. If you're reading this, don't ever think of doing it on a whim. Don't be like me. I seriously want to end it all.