I hate it.

I am doing horrible 

Don't know how it happened, don't know how I got worse but somehow I did.

I work in healthcare and I woke nightshift. This morning I was helping her patients up for the day and my goodness by the end of it my legs started to feel weak. I'm glad I work with nurses cause one of them helped me a bit. She gave me some juice to bring my sugar up. 

I have an eating disorder and I don't know how to fix it. I know my mom means well but she keeps telling me to eat. I'm trying I really am but for some reason I just can't. 

I came home and slept and woke up after 2 hours. Ate a few crackers before falling back asleep. I woke up around 4 and ate some soup. 

I don't know why it's bad. I don't know why it's gotten worse. I lost 8 pounds in a month and I didn't mean to. I now weight 104. It's not about my body image. I've been asked that. I don't care how I look I just want to eat but for some reason it's difficult and I hate it.

I was doing good for a bit. But these fast couple months have just been bad. I hate that I do good then I go back to doing back. That's all!! 

Love, peace, chicken grease.