I HATE MASKING GRAAAAAAH

Just did my first interview in awhile, I did super good! But hells I feel so fucking tired. As an autistic person interviews are so nerve inducing. They feel like games of play-pretend more than interviews sometimes, I am a complete charisma vacuum most of the time so I have to put all of my brain power into seeming as Normal as possible.

Maintain eye contact but not too much eye contact, smile when they smile, look like you're paying attention, answer fast, ask questions, make small talk, compliments, mgfjkndjlrtlkyyrsjy.......

I'm only here because my current job pays like ass, I do not care about this place, I am here to make ends meet, please believe me when I lie to your face and say how much I wanna work for you!!!!!!

Gonna be fuckingh autistic as fuck for the rest of thwe day... no more fake niceties, sonic the hedgehog.... stim......