I hate myself

I hate the way I look I hate that I'm so big and not skinny I need to eat less to lost weight I need to lose weight before high school starts but I don't know how to because everytime I try to * myself I always go back to food and eat food and I've been called fat before in school so that should make me wanna eat less right? wrong. I hate my face and how chopped I look and how my left eye isn't focusing straight anymore because of a surgery I had on it this is so annoying I'm doing so shitty if you couldn't tell.