I HATE SCHOOL WITH MY WHOLE HEART

I genially hate school, and not in the way how some people say they hate school but have great friends who love them. Sure maybe studying time is okay, i have one friend who i can partner up with, but its only cause her friends are not in the class. But what i have the most is lunch, i hate walking alone and then sitting by the main entrace and looking in to my phone like the tiktoks are actualy so interesting and prettending i dont notice stares and whispers. I had friends who to hangout with, but one of them is so bipolar and she changes her mind every week or so, and of course she is the one who everyone follows. Throughout the whole middle school i sure made friends, but i seem to not be able to keep the friendndship for more then half of a year, i genuinely dont understand what in me makes people hate me, i am trying to be the best friend i could possibly be, i am i good listener, i really do care about people, i dont judge anyone. I hate middle school everyday since grade 6 to 9 (right now) i can not find some people or a person who would understand me and would actually value our friendship. If anybody actually read this till the end thanks, i fould comfort in writing out my worries since i at least share it and let it out even if not to someone who i know.