I hate women

Huge part of why I never get out of my house is because women are out there.

They are skinny. They have long, straight hair. They have clean cute clothes. They have nicely done nails and makeup. They're tall. They have thin legs and arms. They have fair skin. I hate them all. Do they think they're better than me???

I try to be pretty but I'm still out casted. I'm no different to the other alt girls at my school. They dress in all black, they have weird hair, they do bolder makeup. But I'm the weirdo? How?? Those girls with patchy, faded hair dye and weird clothes are so cool and awesome and everybody loves them, but I am a freak with lice in my hair that smells bad? How am I different to the others I do not understand. I don't have lice and I don't smell bad, know that for a fact, they just like to be assholes for no reason.

I guess it's because I'm quiet but it still doesn't make sense to me. I've known plenty of quiet people that were treated just fine. I don't understand what it is about me. Another guess is the people I hang out with, since they're also quiet weirdos, but it doesn't makes sense still. There's a girl in my class who's autistic, can't speak proper Greek, she stands out from others, she hangs out with the same people as I, and yet everybody loves her and she's so fun and great and I don't get it how am I different???????

I hate going outside because the women outside remind me I'm a freak. I'm also thin, I also have long hair, I try to dress nicely.

Is it because I'm not social enough? Am I too expressive maybe? Am I too awkward? Is it cus I don't smoke? Is it cus I'm not a whore?

I'm excited for highschool to end in two years. My teens are being wasted rotting inside, but it'll be better once I have autonomy, surely...