I HAVE A CRUSH ON MY BEST FRIEND HELP ME

I feel so guilty bc she’s straight and also bc it’s against my religion. I can’t control my feelings but I can choose to not act on them but it’s soo hard. I genuinely love her sm and in way more than just a friend way but I hate myself for it. Also she just got a boyfriend and trust me I genuinely am really happy for her and her boyfriend is the luckiest guy ever but unfortunately I still have some jealousy. I’m trying to work on it but it’s just really hard. I can’t have her know abt this bc it would ruin our friendship and I can’t risk losing her. But she talks abt her boyfriend a lot and I have to pretend I’m cool with it but it stings so so much. I ask God everyday why I couldn’t just be a boy so I could be with her. I feel so guilty I feel like I’m hiding something behind my back from her and I’m trying everything to stop liking her but I can’t. If anyone has advice it would be appreciated. But my heart aches every second of every day and I can’t talk to anyone abt it except my sister bc she’s the only one in my house that understands being queer. And I don’t have much friends. God please help me out of this. I was also thinking that when I start going to my new school, the only way to lose these feelings is to find a new crush that’s a guy (luckily I’m into boys and girls so it’s easier for me to find a guy) but that can be very dangerous bc in my last relationship I rushed into it and it turned out HORRIBLE and so I told myself that I would have to know someone for a while before dating them but when I have a crush on someone my feelings are OVERWHELMING and it would be painful to wait a while (especially if he gets a gf 💔)