i hope you find your people! whatever THAT means

not sure if ill ever find people that i fit with!! i always seem to metronome between either too much™ or not enough™. not too much as in risky or detestable, but just, energy. too hyper, annoying and energetic or too monotone and snarky, like i dont think im ever in the middle. genuinely its either pinkie pie or maud pie. im gonna DIE in these two metrics probably, idk.

i keep hearing tales and stories of folks who 'find their people' and yadda yadda, and i mean yeah! part of me feels like its only a matter of time before you meet someone who wants to like you, or tries really hard anyway, but i think i have way too many thorns to be held. im not even into dating im jus talkin that general buddy pal shit, yknow?

i do hope i and whoever else here, finds "their people" or tribe or whatever. it wooould be pretty sick to just be somewhere where you can talk without going through 40 different drafts on how to phrase it. i hate when i say something and i get hit with a "what?" that shit makes me CRYY. sucks the life outta me.

either that or i get drytexted into oblivion but its so odd because its usually other people that message ME FIRST that do it. i try to give energy, respond fruitfully to everything they say and take interest in them and their interests (like the funny internet people always advice you to do) but then its like playing catch with yourself and i just get drained after awhile. 

i hope i and whoever else finds that cool place where they can just be'. im gonna try not to tone myself down for others either, id rather die on either side of the spectrum than be loved and also not be me at all