i might have an eating disorder or something

just a little rant lol

so for years, ive always eaten more than a normal, growing child should. my parents tried setting a limit to when we could go in the kitchen when i was like 10, but being the spoiled child i am, it only lasted a short, few months. but a couple months ago, i realized the abnormal amount i ate, and recently realized that ive felt the need to eat, or when im bored, i eat, or when i zone out, i go straight to the kitchen. i grew up with a very high metabolism so it was hard for me to gain weight, so maybe i had built this habit of eating to counteract that? but it sucks now bc i could be full and still feel like i need to eat; i feel like i dont eat enough. ive been gaining a bit of weight, but its barely anything. i never cared about my weight, nor do i do now. but it has gotten to the point where i have to force myself to not eat so i dont hurt myself.

i remember in 8th grade, i would purge everyday in the same class during first semester because this girl who hated me was in that class (fyi for valid reasons, i was shitty in middle school). i struggled to eat in that first semester. sometimes i wonder if purging would help cure my unsatiable hunger. irdk. my mental health has been dropping lately so maybe im just having bad thoughts. i just wanted to rant about this bc its been bothering me for a while.

also i apologize if this is very unconnected, i was watching videos in the background while typing so i was having yrouble 100% concentrating.