i miss my ex bestfriend(rant/sappy post)

 i miss my ex bestfriend. we were very close before our friendship ended. 

we met in trade school and from then on we were inseparable. after graduation i had moved to a different state for college. she stayed.

at the very start, she was already struggling with classes. i did not know the real reason at first. when she talked to me she made it out to be she was overwhelmed with how many classes she was taking & also working a part time job. this i understood and sympathized with since im working a full time job and double majoring myself. 

come to find out, she was posting on snapchat(which i do not have) about being at car meets(which was so abnormal for her, she has never been into cars in the time i've known her) or being at the club with girls i've never seen before. i only found this out through her tiktok page, where she reposted her videos with the default snapchat text on it. she also had posted other questionable videos with her "girlfriends" that are definitely abnormal for her and her character.

anytime we would speak after i moved, it would be about some new guy she met and she's talking to or someone who broke her heart, etc. never once asked about my new life and how it's going. also never offered to come visit me, she always wanted me to visit her. which i think is unfair, because i already know where she's at, but i wanted her to see the new life i built here if that makes sense

there is so much more that went into our fallout but i still miss who she was when we were friends, not who she's become with the new people she's surrounded herself with.

its also important to note that we both are/were followers of Christ, and we have had countless bible studies and conversations about the Lord and the things He's done in our lives.

it's important because right before we stopped speaking to eachother, she wrote me word for word, saying "i don't want Him[God] to become between us." and to be honest, that really hurt me to have her say something like that about something so sacred to me.

i do hope one day she reaches out.

*any Christian/religion hate will not be tolerated on my page, thank you :)*