I need therapy POSTHASTE 🤬🤬🤬

okay so as ive said about a billion times I have a hard time regulating my emotions and understanding when I’m wrong. Both of these things have led me to be very toxic and weird to others. I don’t like that, so I’m trying to change! But since I LITERALLY CANNOT SEE WHEN IM WRONG/RIGHT it’s very hard. Either I let too much bullshit pass due to thinking that I’m wrong or I act an ass to others because I think I’m right. It’s hard to find an equilibrium but I really don’t want to be toxic again so Ive been trying to understand others and find an unbiased opinion. 

Right now Ive just been talking to others to see whether I’m wrong or not. It really helps. But I can’t talk to a trusted adult every second I need an opinion on ethics. 

I think I just… reaally need therapy. I am utterly terrified of being a bad person, of retaliating too much and making people fear me again. I might just manifest being able to understand morality. Because this isn’t my strongsuit and I keep saying bad things to people because of it. My friend was rude to me earlier and I sent her four texts telling her how much of a bitch she was before deleting them. Maybe I was right to send her them and should’ve kept them, but how would I know when morality is such an abstract concept to me? I’ll get therapy and then send people rude messages.