I SAW SIX AGAIN!...with trouble (storytime)

This recent Saturday, I saw my favorite musical of all time, SIX (yk, divorced, beheaded,died, etc). I dare say it was more than the first time cuz I finally processed it and could be fully present this time. Though, I can't lie, the journey getting there was absolutely HORRENDOUS.

My mom and I were supposed to drop my siblings and gram gram off to the hotel while we were at the theatre but when we got there we waited 30 minutes to get our room... IT TOOK 4 HOURS TO GET HERE, WHY WASN'T IT READY?! someone checked out of our room late AS SOON AS WE GOT THERE. Now, I'm panicking because we have to get dressed and find parking (10 min walk from theatre). We quite literally had half an hour to spare. 

When we got to the theatre, the guy was struggling to scan my tickets, another inconvience beyond my control, but I was doing so well holding it together. We had to go upstairs to find our seats but the usher sent us in the wrong direction. And then the intro started playing, my heart sank a little but hey no biggie, I saw the intro before so we'll just miss the very first part right??..wrong. Yall, as soon as we found the correct door, the usher closed the door, and told us we couldn't go in until the first song is over. She wasn't mean, she just apologized for the inconvience of arriving late and she was just doing her job... but the problem was, I stopped listening after she said "I'm sorry dear". As a neurodivergent girlie, I am prone to severe anxiety attacks, even with meds. In that moment, I thought I wasted 200 bucks + more for trip expenses and half a year waiting for this moment, only to be told I can't see it again. 

My mom however, was my hero that day. She knew all those inconviences were eating away at me and it was only a matter of time until I couldnt hold it together anymore. She knows I have to get it out of my system and fast so I'd be calm enough to enter the show safely. She had me together before the song ended and sang along to help me recover quicker. After it was over, we were promlty escorted to our seats and had an AMAZing time there (I recommend anyone reading this to see it at least once, it's so fun).

Ngl, even though my meltdown was beyond my control, I still did feel slightly embarrassed for freaking out like that especially with other late attendees present, there was even a girl who looked much younger than me watching me ugly cry. But I'm not here to pity myself, I'm here to share a vulnerable part of me with y'all, this is me. There are some things I'm working on, some things I have to learn to love and/or accept as being apart of my experience as a neurodivergent person. 

A few things I learned from this experience: enjoy the moment in the present, be more patient with myself, PLAN BETTER TO MAKE ROOM FOR INCONVIENCES, tell my mom I love her more, Josh fuckin sucks, and North Carolina hates me. 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 

Signing off, 

 ☆~~~~~~~☆