I Still Stalk You On The Internet (3 Months Ago)

I still stalk you on the internet. Not in the creepy way, but in a way that says "I still care about you but I don't know how to tell you." I still care about you, but when I'm around you, I feel an undeniable anger towards you. You don't deserve it so I keep my distance. But i long for your presence. I wish things could go back to the way they were but we aren't kids anymore. I check on you to see how you're doing, to see if you're okay and to see if your life is in fact better without me in it, like I tell myself. But, if I can be honest, I don't know how to feel about you. Am I in love with you? Am I in love with the idea of you? Or do I just want to be your friend? I didn't mean it when I said I couldn't be your friend anymore. All I want is for you to just talk to me. What is a person to do?