i swear ea cb day gets worse

its hard to tell who actually wants me around anymore. my friends ive grew up with for years are suddenly people i can barely regonize. they barely talk to me anymore and all have someone and other people they favor now over me. clearly. it hurts a lot, i lost so much, and it hurts. i changed as a person, i changed as a person since my assault from 2 years ago, and i can barely speak, i can barely trust anyonr anymore. and with that it brought loneliness. i can only ever talk to my partner and be with my partner now, and it makes me so upset because they really shouldnt have to deal with me being upset all the time. it isnt fair. and i keep telling them that. i need other people in my life, but its hard, when theres no one left anymore. i want tnew friends. i want new people in my life but i know deep down that nobodies actually wanting to stick sround with me or anything, ill just make everyone tired and everyone will leave over and over again. and thats the thing i hate. i had so many friends tell me that im not boring to speak to or that im this and that all those positive things only just to never talk to me. im really tired of it and i dont know how much longer i can deal with this empty and lonely feeling. even if my partner is here for me it isnt their job to tend my wounds all the time. i want new friend groups. i barely fit in my own anymore.