Im so jealous of people who’ve been abused. No matter how much i tell myself “thats not cool” or “thats just because you feel your trauma isnt valid” i cant stop getting so incredibly unstable over that thought.
My friend vented to me about their sexual abuse and i got this disgustibg feeling of “i wish that happened to me”
I get so jealous and angry when i hear about others being abused but not me.
I hate feeling like this!! Plus im a weirdo, i have some really huge obsession with abuse to the point im fantazising abt it.
Im against abuse, i think its disgusting but i genuinely cant stop wishing it’d happen to me.
Like wdym you’re depressed cause you were abused and im depressed cause im just a fucking tard
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!! Ariadne
from what you typed, it seems you don't want to be abused, you want the validation you think you will get from it, you want to be heard in other words. the human mind can make crazy things both good & bad, most of the time our feelings are more messy then we would wish
i hope you can go soon to a therapist/doctor who has a more in-depth knowledge on the topic
Always-Peachy-Casio555
you don't need bouts of trauma to be depressed, u definitely don't want to experience SA. I think you should talk to a profesional about your feelings of inadequacy.
agreed
by !! Ariadne; ; Report
Maeve McQueen
I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm a DV & SA survivor. I beg you, on my knees, to believe me when I say you do not want this. I'm envious of you, who has never experienced it. I wish I knew that kind of life. I wish I had that - for lack of a better word - privilege.
I'm 56 years old now. The first instance of abuse was in the 1970s. I still remember it. It follows you all your life. This is why I say, this is not something to wish for.
Be kind to yourself. Every day.
Han.
Why do you want it like what does it make you feel?
I'm just trying to understand
Dust the mouse 🐁