Identity

I've been thinking about my own identity a lot recently. I think I may like they/them pronouns for myself. 

Sometimes, being referred to as 'they' feels nice. It makes me feel like I'm a nonhuman creature — mostly, I feel like an imp (I love imps, I associate with them so personally but not in an evil demonic way more in a silly mischievous way) or a bug-person, which I also enjoy. But I like being referred to as 'he' as well. 

I would love to present male but also be gender-neutral looking, but it's hard to present that way without looking more feminine sometimes I think. I don't want to be associated with anything feminine, I despise being referred to as a woman, I would rather just be some masculine bug or imp..... I dunno, it's weird. I'm weird. 

I feel guilty for being this way, because I've spent so long trying to present as a male and pass as masculine... It makes me feel like I'm 'faking' being transgender. But the pain is real. The pain has always been real to me. I wish there was a super easy way to tell people in real life I like he/they without having to wear a pin or something, but I guess I don't mind wearing a pin out.. :) 

Anywho byebye I'm an impman bugman :p