if i survive, i'll then see you tomorrow (poem)

to be honest, i didn't know what to tell you 

i told you i loved you, it was true, and i still do 

but because i love you so, i'm gonna have to go 

you don't hate me enough to stop me, do you? 

oh, aphrodite! such beauty! i've been distancing myself 

hopefully you'll move on to find somebody else 

if i told you what's true, you'd leave me anyway 

and i don't want that to have to happen 

ive learned that "love" doesn't exist 

it's a manipulative tactic 

but i often say what people don't like to hear

so i'd have to ask her, "what do you feel?" 

but if i say i love you, then how do i feel? 

and whatever we feel, is it truly real? 

or are you just lying? 

but you hate me more than that, don't you? 

so everything you'd tell me, i'd feel like dying

how ironic, isn't it? 

to say i don't understand love, then i'd die for her

but that isn't much of a sacrifice. i'd die if i were to be given a sandwich in return 

but let's be honest, all i do is torture 

so i must be given a vile punishment 

i don't know what i believe in, and to be frank, i don't care 

"there is a god!" "there's not a god!" the concept's really odd 

but if there is, i'd go to hell or come back as a crab 

i don't understand such things like that 

but you're joking, right? this whole thing has been an act 

either that, or i'm just a complete sociopath 

i've come to realize all humans scare me 

even the ones i'm supposed to love the most 

there's no exception to this fear, and nothing that can help me 

so dear aphrodite, i care deeply for you, but please don't try to stop me 

i'm always trying, day and night, to find the same escape 

but the worst thing about all this is i couldn't bare to tell you this to your face 

so don't wait up! keep moving on, i'll inevitably drown in a depressive sea of my own sorrow 

and if i survive this, i'll then see you tomorrow