I'll never be good in their eyes

Vent entirely about my useless daily life. I could never hate it more than now, I just wish everything was different instead of judging being everyone's damn choice but that's how it is and if so, I just want to sit in a corner and not move or stay in bed forever to entirely decay. Nobody in my city accepts me for who I truly am, "It's just a phase" everyone says but I truly feel myself that way until I'm an elder woman. I don't know at all, if only I could get some actual support and not the repetitive cycle I had. All of my therapists betrayed me and said they'd stay, but all they did was make everything worse and they expect me not to wish I could KlLL myself afterwards. If who I saw at least approached me in more polite instead of acting like spoiled children, I would've appreciated everything more. I kept my faith strong and still will, but if this issue never fixes then I won't die happy in the future. Life was never a joke to me, people like that type made me feel like it was. I'm hoping and frowning, I'm waiting for this future to come expecting something new, even though I doubt I will regain my old status back. I'm way too numb.