im bored [rant]

bruh i keep reminiscing back to my long ass break last yr i had so much fun

genuinely had a whole ass roster of cute guys id talk to all de time like new day new guy (im not a playa ok some of them DEFINITELY had rosters too)

but my dumbass my STUPID ASS traded this amazing roster for ONE GUY that couldnt handle my personality. fucking hell im so mad, i was so good to him bro i was loyal i was patient (IM THE MOST IMPATIENT BITCH ON EARTH) and i was so sweet HE HAS SEEN A WHOLE GALLERY OF MY FUCKING TITS but in the end he couldnt handle, i guess my real personality, and he was so dry(not that being dry on text is a huge problem he just couldnt talk to me, like literally hed leave me on delivered for days during our situation) and genuimely couldnt keep the relationship going

everyday i was questioning myself whether he actually loved me or liked me because this guy had put me on restricted, barely responded to my texts, and was um very fragile. genuinely, it felt like i was holding wet toilet paper talking to him bruh, he cant handle sarcasm and i had to filter my humor for him so he wont get worked up.

 he made all these claims of love that he liked me for who i was not just my looks, but the moment i tried going unfiltered he couldnt handle it and said things tht made me feel like, damn this person doesnt know who i am bruh. he said all these things to me and told me his deepest darkest secrets but he doesnt even know a single spec of anything about me

i knew he didnt like me, and i knew our situation was fleeting, but i gaslighted myself into thinking everything would be fine, that i was jus playin around (kinda), and that im overthinking. BUT I FUCKING KNEW THIS PIECE OF SHIT DIDNT LOVE ME 

because on our last conversation, even though he admitted it was his fault he couldnt handle relationships, he fucking mentioned that i never told him im genderfluid and he was uncomfortable with that because hes straight ????????? YOU BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ILLL FUCKING KILL YOU IF I EVER COME TO INDIANA ILLL FUCKING MANHUNT YOU  YPURE SO GRATEFUL UR 12 HOURS AWAU FROM ME NECAUSE IF I EVER SAW YOU IN PUBLIC ID SHOOT MYSELF AND HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF UR LiFE U WONT LIVE PEACEFULLY UR LIFE WILL GO DOWNSLOPE AND I WILL END YOU FUCJKSJFGI EHNDLKM GHDUEJCNDMC

WTFDYM YOU DIDNT KNOW THIS MDFK LITERALLY ADRESSED ME AS MAAM AND SIR AT THE START BITCH I MADE IT SO OBVIOUS YOU FUCKING SAID YOU DIDNT MIND ME BEING GENDERFLUID BITCH FUCK YOU I DIDNT MIND YOU BEING OFF YOUR FUCKING GOURD BUT UR UUUUUUNNNNNCOOOOOOOMMMMMMFORTABLE WITH ME WEARING BINDERS AND PREFFERING OTHER PRONOUNS OMG OMG MOMGOMG YOURE JOKING ME LAD HAHAHA YOURE JOKING ME THIS WHOLE TIME HE LED ME TO BELIEVE HE LIKED ME AS A GUY AND A GIRL BUT NO HE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE WOW OKAY I DIDNT KNOW THIS WHOLE TIME I FUCKING DISGUSTED YOU

he doesnt know how much i traded for him bro i genuinely i dont think i ever let anyone take such a huge chunk from me but the fact i traded so much sanity and valuable patience to balance our relationship and he just tossed me away like that wow. im a very cheerful person and i always come to class talking to everyone but after the shit he made me feel sometimes i was just so painfully obviously drained

i mean its my fault for being stupid and deciding to talk-talk to this guy whos fucking mental and 12 hours away but wow what a turn of events JUSTKILL ME

I KNEW ITTT BRO HOW COULD SOMEONE LOVE ME WHEN ALL THEY KNOW IS THE SHALLOW TIP OF THE ICEBURG SHIT AND MY CUP SIZE

I WAS THE BEST YOU EVER HAD BITCH AND I HOPE YOU JERK OFF TO MY TITS AND REMEMBER HOW BAD I WAS

he fucking said so much shit, he insinuated hed kill himself if i stopped talking to him, well well well😂😂😂😂😂 says the one who apparently hated me this whole time i guess😂😂😂😂😂hed better pray i dont see him ever ever ever on da streets😂😂😂😂😂 spent my bomb ass tits on some bum ass bitch😂😂😂😂😂 

lesson learnt im NEVER filtering my personality for ANYONE 

im so mad i hope he never talks to asian chics ever again. asian girls if a guy says they have a type for asian girls turn round and run ok trust me