I’m so fucking tired. I’ve barely been taking my meds, I’m getting worse and I think the worst part is that I’m okay with that. Yes I’ve been probably accepted into university but I just don’t have the capacity to care right now. I want to lie in bed and rot, that’s it. I don’t want to talk to my parents, infact I kinda want to go no contact with my dad.
I’ve not been able to vent to my close friends because it feels like I’m always venting, usually about something not even that serious. I know I’m depressed, I know I need help but I’m not ready for that just yet. I’ve completely wrecked my sleep pattern too after having it perfect for around 2 months. I wish I could just get the hell away from this place and be free. There’s so many reasons why I can’t though.
I still don’t entirely trust venting to people, it’s been five years and I’m still not trusting enough, even when I keep it vague like this.
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fr3ak0's_l3thal_1nj3ct10n_01
i've been feeling like this too. you should care for yourself because even if you feel awful and you don't have the ability to care atm, you could regret wrecking things in the future. once you're ready to get help you 100% should. even if you don't see it now you matter and so does your life. you have the ability to get better with the right amount of help, and if you don't want to start now, you could start taking better care of yourself slowly on your own.
things will be okay. the most important part atm is to get through the hard times first. they're inevitable, but they're not worth losing to.
i'm rooting for you man