I'm sick of trying to be friends with straight guys.

I do not know how to start this off without making it sound like a ramble, but as a bisexual man having straight male friends is so fucking hard and the amount of times I've tried to befriend them or ended up getting betrayed and abandoned by them has completely made me fucking resentful of men, I have had gay male friends in my life who weren't as fake and emotionally immature as straight men were and actually had emotional depth.(I know he's not on here, but shout out to Nathan.)

Even just recently, I got completely blocked by everyone in my video game friend group, because I just wanted to play together with them, and that was it, only to be told that I was starting BS with them and got blocked by all of them (they were all in a session together when it was all happening without me.) I will truly never understand why men have to be so emotionally immature and emotionally hollow when it comes to shit. Every single time I've tried to be friends with straight men, there's just always this weird sense of verbal disrespectfulness and not taking shit seriously at all. 

There was also a time when I had another straight male friend who constantly wanted to play with me online, but when I told him I could not because I had a death in my family, not even a simple condolence or "Hey, dude, I'm sorry for your loss" at all. Like, seriously, you're that emotionally shallow?!(I had to stop in front of him after that.)

Ever since I was a child, I've always had more female friends than male friends because there isn't so much pettiness and hostility and they know how to actually be direct about things. Even when I've tried to physically make guy friends, it's like you're unable to be truly platonic with them and have a real bond with them, because if you ever try to go emotionally deep with them, you're going to get closed off. It's fucking weird.

And yes, I understand that it's very important for a guy to have good male friendships in their life but with the way Gen Z socializes with people and how friendship dynamics aren't the same as they used to be, It just almost feels like a losing game, to be completely honest, and this is something that I've always struggled with for a long time, and I've just had so many feelings of hurt and feeling like something is wrong with me as a person, and I so badly want to have a good track record of having good straight male friendships, but I will never be able to get behind the emotional shallowness and need that every male friendship I have has to be surface-level, like some kind of acquaintanceship. 

I wish more people talked about how sometimes men can have a hard time being friends with guys also. If anyone feels the same way, feel free to tell your story and comment down below, but for now, I'm going to take a step back from making guy friends. Because I'm sick and tired of constantly having the same thing happen over and over again. And I'm sorry if this rant is all over the place. I'm just in a super angry mood right now, and this is the only way I could get my feelings off my chest.