one of my biggest fear is going insane, yet day by day I feel my self going more and more insane. I feel like a rotting corpse just waiting to finally waiting to die, everything is just repeating itself except for whats going on on my laptop screen and its the only thing keeping me sane, I wanna escape from this cycle of depression nothing ever new happens to my life I wake up to the same room, eat the same meals ive eaten my whole life, same face, and same body nothing ever fucking changes except for my mental state. I can feel it getting worse ive lost all motivation to do anything and my body started to reject eating. I really dont know what to do except lie in bed and wait to die, I dont have anyone irl I have been with this same fucking cycle for 7 whole years now. I hate it so much I started pushing people I love online away from I really love them but I feel so annoyed they talk about the same thing same questions same problems same argument SAME FUCKING EVERYTHING. I wanna escape.. idk if I have any alternatives besides that... I CANT EVEN TALK TO ANYONE IRL BECAUSE EVERYONE JUST SEES ME AS A FREAK, the only things I get close to irl are animals.. I hope I finally escape this wretched body.
p.s I'm not kms just a stupid fuckass rantÂ
insanity..
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patty_
I get what you mean, it's a real struggle to be living and feeling these things, the best thing i can advice you is see a professional and cherish the people that truly care for you. If you can try exercice or meditation, it won't fix everything but it might help in the long run. It's okay if you can't do it rn, take your time, stay safe stranger ^^