isolation

yknow the feeling when you barely have any friends and you just wanna.. play with someone, talk to someone, like intz with them, but then realize you have like one friend but theyre busy, then finally realize..

you're alone.

not the peaceful type of alone, its like the helpless type of alone because you know that you cant talk to anyone new because you're scared that they'll think badly of you, and you cant bother your only friend, so you're forced to be alone.

yeah, i should really get new friends, i know, but it's the fear thats chasing me. like, what if i fall inlove with one of them? [ because i tend to fall inlove easily and i believe itll ruin my new friendships ] what if they hate me secretly and just became my friend out of pity? alotta questions.

i dont really like this isolation, i just wish i had someone talkative, someone whos just usually online the time im online, like someone who would text me first because if i do it myself, ill think i bothered them or something, yada yada..