its always a badder btch im gonna cry 💔💔

okay so, ive been in a pretty decently long relationship before right? 1.5yrs . and i completely understand that it has changed me as a person, unfortunately… but its gotten to a point that i fully understand that itll forever and always be someone 100x better than me, and i feel that with my looks specifically. im aware that im a good girl, im logical, i can be confrontational, i understand what to do in certain situations, im caring, the whole package. but some days i just feel soooo ugly. the average girl youll see has an amazing lash map, they know how to do their edges/hair entirely, they have nice clothes, amazing friends, more freedom ect. when it comes down to me, i dont wear lash clusters, i can do my edges but not like them, i have locs but i like to let my hair grow out like its supposed to, so it doesnt always look neat and clean like them, i dont wear makeup because i dont know how to do it, and i dont wear nice clothes like fly girls do, like lululemon, alo sets, chrome hearts, ect. i dress like im some 2000s emo chick with no friends, and i would love to change that but i just cant. i want more friends, i want to get out of the house more, and i want to look good for myself mainly and also others around me as well… and im not comfortable to get into any kind of relationship or anything romantic with anyone for that specific reason, sometimes i just feel soooo fkin ugly. im not photogenic. and i dont wanna sound like im some sad insecure loser, but its just upsetting sometimes yk? not being able to feel as though you look okay, not having many friends, all that. and unfortunately i do tend to mess around.. but its only with one person though, and we used to talk but yk it didnt go well, but we did become fwb and i was happy about that!! but hes so fine.. i know a lot of girls would want to talk to him and mess around with him, and then considering hes 18 he has a better chance with prettier girls, bottom line is, i wish i just looked a little better. :-/ but its okay cs my personality is the best idgaf